Almost there......

10 months ago I had an idea that I'd push myself as far as I could and I'd enter an ultra distance race in 2012.


I'm 8 weeks away from fulfilling that goal.........


The big question now, even before I've finished this one, is what next?


Over the last month, training has been getting pretty intense with runs, much more cycling and combination run/cycle sessions.


Having bought a book called Scotland Mountain Biking, The Wild Trails by Phil McKane, I wanted to test myself.

Glen Finglas

So on successive days I managed a 30k Red Grade followed by an 18k Red Grade with a run/gym session on the same day.


Overtraining?  In fact the biggest risk I face is getting injured by being a little too 'adrenaline junkie' on the downhill sections - as evidenced when I got careless on Innerleithen XC trail and ended up 3m from the track with my bike on top of me!  

Bike wheel visible just left of the tree on right hand side of pic!

The view from where I fell!

Fortunately only a cut knee, bruised testicle and bent brake lever.....as well as severely dented pride......was the damage!


Some of the logistical elements of the challenge are now coming together.  Kit is being gathered, tested and weight.  The route is being examined - what kit will I use on what section? Where will I transition from run to bike and what can I leave at transition for either pick or up drop?

 
But by far the biggest challenge I still have to face is the mental preparation.  I've learnt enough about myself now to know that I'll go off too quick and as a result, get tired sooner than planned and end up battling with myself and my negative thoughts and not enjoy it.

A lot of the training now is maintaining fitness and preparing for the pace I need to go at, which is slower than I've been training at thus far.  It's by far the most difficult thing I've encountered!

I am heeding this warning!

The next 3 weeks are quite exciting though as we are away camping again in the North West Highlands as a family - bike and trainers will be making the journey too!  The following week I am then walking Hadrian's Wall with my Dad - more nights under canvas!  Again, bike and trainers will be going with me!

Top of Minch Moor

Glentress - gorgeous day!

To keep me focused on my biggest challenge...my mind.....I've started to collect positive statements and put them on a board to embed them into my psyche over the coming weeks.  Here's a few of the top ones
so far!

• I don't stop when I'm tired, I stop when I'm done!
• Don't look at how far I've got to go, look at how far I've come!
• If I think I can't, I won't! If I believe I can, I've got a chance!
• No matter how hard it gets, how cold and wet I am, how tired I feel- it will pass.
• I am making things happen.  I've turned a dream into reality, bloody well enjoy it or the last 10months will have been for nothing!
• I won't let myself finish where I began.  I have something more important than courage, I have belief and patience.  I will become what I know I am!

105miles! But why?

'Because it's there!' would be the trite answer to the question of why people do the things they do, including events like marathons and ultra distance adventure races.

But as far as I can conclude, the reasons for putting ourselves into situations and activities we didn't think possible are as different as we are from one another.

Motivation can come from many sources, like raising funds for charity or to improve health.  Motivation is needed but it's not at the heart of WHY we choose to do what we do.

It's been a relatively quiet few weeks since I was out in the hills.  Training is going steady (although I feel I should be doing more) and if I am honest, a little anti-climatic after the Edinburgh Marathon.

So I decided to take some time to really understand the 'why' of what I am attempting this year and not just the motivations.  Everyone else might be talking about '50 Shades of Grey' but I want to explore the 'black & white' of myself - no shades of grey in my psyche!

Physically I've never been fitter or stronger.  But I'm having bouts of self doubt and worry that I'll be able to finish the 105miles for Scotland Coast to Coast which is causing havoc with my training as I'm pushing too hard and know full well I'm going to end up injured at some point if I carry on.

It all boils down to the fact that I'm not really sure why I'm doing it.  Why would I subject myself to discomfort, chafing, exhaustion and hours and hours of solitary training?

• Do I need to prove myself to anyone?
• Do I need to prove anything to myself?
• Do I need another tech t-shirt or medal?
• Am I crazy for thinking someone like me could be considered a runner or capable of doing an event like this?

The answer is no to all of them.  When I decided to do these challenges this year, it did start out as something to prove to myself and yes, I enjoyed the thought of people thinking I was slightly nuts for doing it and the surprise on my family's face when I told them.

But as the journey through my training has progressed, my reasons have changed. 

At the core of it is the sense of freedom and release that comes when doing any endurance or long distance sessions.  The events themselves are just a 'focus' point - a time and place against which to work towards whereby some of the logistical needs are taken care of.

This little 'eureka' moment came to me one day while sat on a train passing through the Lake District in the UK.  All I wanted to do was get outside and run around in the hills.  Couldn't work out why this was until I remembered it had been a difficult day, my mind full of all the things I 'had to do' and I was feeling a little wound up.

But my mind was craving the freedom, the space or even the time to just decompress and recover and the best way it knew how.  Just like the body craves fluid when it's dehydrated, or food when it's hungry, the mind craves space when packed full.

Just running - moving from one point to another in whatever time you want is such a release from the constraints of our everyday lives.  It is for me.

I might have sore feet.  My nipples may be rubbed red raw from the chafing of my top.  I may get cold, wet, hungry and thirsty.  I  might even twist an ankle or pull a muscle.  But all of these things are temporary and can quickly be forgotten once destination reached and needs satiated.

What lasts for so much longer and makes us so much stronger is the mental wellbeing that our minds achieve.  The psychological boost that we get not just from endorphine release, but from giving our minds the opportunity to 'roam' without anything to be focused on because our bodies are taking care of business. 

So the next question I have to answer having reached this conclusion is........what am I going to do after the Coast to Coast challenge?

Current favourites are the traverse of Hadrians Wall (69miles) in 24hours, Bob Graham Round in the Lake District, Caledonian Challenge (52miles in 24hours - I walked it in 2003 but fancy running it now) or even the Paris, Athens or Boston marathons to give it an international flavour.  Whatever I decide, the education of this year will last me a lifetime and continue to take me forward.